Why the Internet Rules the World / Waffles

The internet rules the world because it has the power to reach into your subconscious mind and extract whatever kind of response it wants from you, no matter how your conscious mind may protest. That's why half the planet's population speaks lolspeak and thinks of icanhascheezburger whenever cats are mentioned.

For example, today I was reading a post at Hyperbole and a Half which went into great detail describing the last bite of a waffle (click - see #5). For the next 10 minutes, I was plagued with an insatiable craving for the buttery, syrupy goodness that only a waffle could deliver. I was in the middle of a conversation with my friend on Facebook when I found myself typing this:

"i read a blog post from that website i showed you about waffles and now i really need a waffle or i'm going to die like RIGHT NOW so brb i'm going to make a waffle (:"

The internet had persuaded me to end my current activities to satisfy its needs. I found myself walking into the kitchen, opening the freezer, and staring at an unopened box of strawberry Eggo waffles (Spell-check says that "Eggo" is not a word, and the first word that is suggested is Georg. That is in no way relevant to this post.). I opened the box and pulled out a single, frozen circle that radiated goodness. I slathered it in butter and nuked it for 30 seconds in the microwave. The tantalizing scent spread through the house like internet mind-control spreads through our minds.

When the waffle was [finally] done cooking, I ripped it into pieces with my hands and poured real maple syrup on it (My dad usually buys the cheap fake kind, but not today.). I savored each fluffy, condiment-soaked bite. The last piece of the waffle was exactly how it had been described on the internet, only better.

I licked the plate.

And that is how I spent my afternoon being mind-controlled by the internet, which does, in fact, rule the world.

(By the way, happy 4th of July.)