Wasps- Not Safe

Today my brother let a wasp in the house as he was leaving. He ran outside screaming, got in the car, and was driven away, leaving me to deal with the pest. Thanks.

Did I mention we don't own a fly swatter? Well, we don't.

Wasps are menacing creatures. Even that creepy little buzzing sound they make when they fly sends me into a panic. Right now I'm locked in my mom's office and the wasp is down the hall bumping against the window. I'll see if I can sneak up on it and get a picture before it eats my brains.

***

Ohmygosh. I snuck up to the window and looked for the wasp, but it wasn't there... Then it jumped out of that little crack between window panes and it was like "BLAHHH" and I screamed, but I still got a picture:



I'm lucky to be alive.

I wish someone would come home and kill it already, but they're supposed to be out for at least another hour. For now I'm stuck in the office with no food or water and a killer wasp on the loose.

(To be continued.)

***

(Continued.)

After about an hour or two of sitting in the office looking at various cheezburger network sites, the internet died. It just died. I lasted about three minutes before I had to get up and do something. I was going to reclaim the living room, and my laptop. I was the dominant species. I was going to squash that wasp like it deserved.

I walked into the room, and it was still sitting there, on that same window, trying to get out. For a killer insect that wanted to eat my brains, it was really stupid. I still couldn't bring myself near enough to kill it. I left it alone and opened my laptop to go listen to music or something until the internet started working.

As of now, the wasp and I have made peace. It stays in its corner, and I stay in mine. I don't trust it though. I'm nervously glancing at the window every few seconds, expecting it to fly straight at me and sting my face multiple times.

Oh no.

It's gone. It could be anywhere. It might be sneaking up behind me... Oh, wait. It was in between the windows again.

Wait. No. It thought I would fall for that trick twice within the same hour (Yes, I did fall for it, but whatever.). That is an insult to my intelligence. It's taunting me. That wasp is going down. Today.

This is war.

***

So I'm sitting here planning my war strategy and the wasp must be able to read my mind, because it freaking flies off the window. No. Just no. We had a truce. I hadn't even made the first move yet. I was still in the planning stage. The wasp is perched on a hanging light, glaring at me with hate-filled insect eyes. I will get my revenge.

***

Just after I posted that (^) my mom called, so I got up to get the phone and I had to walk past the wasp. I made it. Then I had to walk back to the couch and I wasn't even close enough to the wasp to be considered a threat, but it leaped down from its perch into battle mode. Did I stand and fight for what was mine? No. I screamed and ran outside. Then my mom pulled in and I put groceries away, and she told me not to be so paranoid, but I know that thing's out to get me. The worst part? I don't know where it is now. I hope it gets lost in some crack in the wall and dies. That's what it deserves. Wasps are not safe.

***

Outcome: So my brother and I were watching Percy Jackson when the wasp revealed itself. It had been lurking behind the curtains. It met its demise in the face of a Vanity Fair magazine with Robert Pattinson on the cover. It didn't deserve such an attractive death.